永遠の愛
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汗人. Sweaty man

This is gonna be a boring post abt how move on with life.. don read if u're not interested (its kinda chim anyway).

Ok firstly, yesterday i got this suddenly realization, super nostalgic feeling which is dam familiar. then i remembered, its the same feeling i had when i told myself to slim down 2 years ago. i declared that i wan to slim down and gave myself a target of 6 mths, but no one really believes me though, some even laugh at me (http://hitorinotabi.jugem.jp/?month=200704 , Body 'Perestroika'). i succeeded in the end though, wheee~

So why exactly this feeling came back again? It means that i have been lazy-ing for too long, and i need to tone up my body (Muscle, 6-pack, lean, hot like yamapi). And once again, i'm awakened by this emotion, this passion, this motivation, and determination. My target, half year from now, my body will change from skinny and unfit to Lean and fit.

Today, tuesday, went to jog at nite, its been like so many thousand months since i went for a normal exercise. Jogged all the way from Sengkang to Punggol (the usual road). and i'm like full of motivation and i don tired out, and i jus keep jogging and jogging until my leg feels numb.

On the way, while walking back from punggol i thought through alot of stuff. Stuffs like, my life, how i used to be, how i've changed. yes certainly i did change alot from during kindergarden i was abit autistic (自闭症) all the way to Primary 5, till i get to meet this bunch of very good frens, we hang out aft sch everyday, and we even skipped sch together to go queue up at town for S.H.E's autography session (shocked uh, i was once a s.h.e fanatic), and we went to K box alot of times, how we really loved singing etc. but now everyone move on with their lives, some studying, some quit sch and blablabla, i still continue on with singing though.

Then on to sec sch, i was still nerdy and introverted , those that always go home immediately after sch, till sec 3. when i began to turn into ah beng after i cut off my mushroom hair to some cok hairstyle which i thot was very cool at that time. Then always got those 'trouble', maybe bec i looked too xl liao. thats why. HOHO. then i nearly retained in sec 3 but lucky teacher pull me up.

Sec 4 began to tone down a little, and start my diet plan like 2007 april. i wonder how i pass through that peroid, cus i was preparing for my O's the same time while i was dieting. and i worked dam hard, the results, i slimmed down like 15 kg (round 4 mths) after my O levels, and got 5As and 2Bs for my O's. After Os i joined haidie vocal lessons.
 
Poly year 1, its a whole turn of my life, when my mum was diagnosed with cancer last stage, and she left when my first sem ended. Things was hard for me of cosh, i had do chores, go to sch, catch up my work during first sem, i wasnt receptive with the ppl ard me cus its something only i can cope with. anyway, i catch up in the end and improve from 1st sem gpa 2.53 to 2nd sem gpa 3.53. Phew~

And now, VS, though i learnt alot from it, i began to be more receptive to ppl, more confident of cosh. but one thing disadvantage abt it is, it wavers my original motive, wavers my schwork, wavers my life. Thats why i've been going into laze mode for the last few months. Now im scheduling my time properly. i'm going into extreme mode soon. (i know it sounds stupid)

Throughout the stages of my life, theres one thing i notice something crucial, something important, something thats in me that nv change. I don rely on others, cus i only believe in myself. It can be my strength but at the same time it can also be my weaknesses. It can nv be changed, but it needs to be changed. Contridicting uh. if theres someone who can change this i will have to say, u have reach the god's realm.

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吃驚した.SHOCKED!
 黎礎寧 (Li Chu Ning) commited suicide on 11.12 bec of her relationship problem. i'm so shocked!!! she got so much talent!!!! oh my, im feeling so sad now . Well rest in peace .

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Understand.了解
No motivation to do anything recently. Feel like lazing around forever and ever and ever.

I suddenly feel like going some where far where no one can regcognize me. Some where when i don have to worry abt things that had happen in the past, things that i have to handle now. things that i wouldnt wan to see everyday. things that i hoped for that is not happening. Somewhere when i can forget where my root is, and forget all the people i had known here, ppl who i had connection with. Every single one of them, even my own family.

And then off to somewhere free, new, different,and meet new people, make new connections, be a person that pleases everyone, then i will find my paint and settle down, and then left this world peacefully with no regrets.



This is how i wan my life to be if i can start my life again from before i was born. Im not trying to say that all the wonderful people てれちゃうi had met till now are not good or bad etc (u know i don mean that嬉しい), but its jus that, if u had a chance to start over, i think of cosh u will wan to rite!?

but all this thinkings are jus some imaginary dreams of mine bec thats not gonna happen unless aliens start invading earth [:ふぅ〜ん:]...



or baby start to go to work and bla bla and so on...



and probably the same thing were to happen again and again and again no matter how many time i press restart bec thats who i am.

well in conclusion, i donno why i blog abt all this bullshits, but u know, blogging is abt letting ppl read abt all this bullshits!


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Hikkikomori.ひきこもり
I am a hikkikomori, not in the real world, but within myself.

Ops, i jus confessed.
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Everyone will be the lead character someday
The previous post doesnt describe too well what had happen to my life, well basically my mum had pass away and i guess few of my friends know bec i hardly tell anyone unless someone ask me wat happen which usually dont.

Everyone were asking the same question again and again, and i jus replied the same thing again and again. so theres no point asking anymore bec i will jus reply the same thing. but thanks ppl for showing care and concern, i appreciate it.

I'm not overly depressed to the point that i wanna die and i'm not feeling happy either (why would i be happy if my mum pass away). i can only say the dreams i had really came true, right after my grandma's funeral, and on the day when my mum's life is in danger. Dreams do hold meaning.

Every funeral holds the lead character, and now im the lead character at 17 yrs old, normally it would be at 50+ or 60+. and everyone will had the chance to experience it, its a hurdle that need to be passed, and i passed it, which make me more matured than anybody else.

all u can see is another me,
and im observing u whenever i can,
i hate u to the core, more than anything else.
Sometimes human nv change? dont they?
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Jus for today
The day that finally come, right on the last week before my holidays. its a bit hard now, but fact is fact=) so lets face the future instead of holding on to the past. i can only say OKAASAN WA DAIISUKI.

for now, some DA XIAO AI CHI to cheer me up.
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going crazy...
Had been going to sch very early and came home very late alot recently. due to deadline of projects and so on. Tomoro gonna start my FOM presentation liao, not pretty sure whther can make it through anot, but oh well, let heaven decide.モゴモゴ

Theres CA1 for my JAP also and didnt have the time to revise today, bec i jus finished my project at 9+pm.悲しい ke lian isnt it? but i think i will jus browse through a little and go to slp liao bec gotta freaking wake up at 6am tomoro again to finalise our fom project.

But lucky this week is the last week!!! then its holiday!!!わーい

BUTTTTTT!

its not the time for me to relax and play, its for me to chiong study, bec i think i had been lagging behind class and its time for me to catch up. Chunrong's O level study spirit gonna come back again, so if u happen to go to compass for the next few weeks, probably u will saw me studying and listening to mp3 at some study hotspot.

i wish one day will have 42 hours..
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Complicated? simple? . 複雑か? 簡単か?
Complicated things can be seen as simple things, while simple things can be seen as complicated things. Sometimes in life, we faced lots of complicated and simple problems, inorder to climb over each of them, we have to view them the opposite way so that we can get over them as fast as we can.

and so had a bad stomachach whole day long,in and out of the toilet in and out of the toilet. ROAR! i suddenly miss yuki yaki alot, and i wan watch 200 pounds beauty too (bec of how she sings), and i wan sing K, and i wan bla bla bla...
enough i want liao since the last post got so many i want's'.

oh and dam the music and audio tech courses in that SP man. requirre to know at least 1 instrument or got any vocal lessons be4 then can go in! ROAR!!! too late lah. wat am i suppose to do~~~ i don feel like study business leh, though i know i got potential LOL. and cant study lah, no motivation at all, donno wat i want, cant study!!! vexed mood~ ROAR!

i'm a super multi tasker and i know that, designing pics, watching youtube, chatting with pplS in msn, and talking on phone the same time. its insane. PPL
hold on awhile, bare with thewhite background, i'm getting a pro desgner to design a new background for me soon=)) LOL...

its no more
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I want to... . 私はほしい...
I WANT TO...
be happy.

buy PSP.

learn music.

learn piano.

learn guitar.

learn violin.

learn drum.

to study.

be in the sky.

feel the wind.

be alone.

have lots of money.

feel freedom.

go poly.

sing.

go lee wei seong school of music.

go bugis ICON.

have cool straight and nice and undamaged hair.

learn jap language.

watch VERY nice anime.

be a popstar.

be famous.

go for the impossibles.

be fit!.

look good.

feel cosy.

go to another world.

not to see so deeply of others.

be simple.

be a idiot.

be a lunatic.

imigrate to japan or oth places which im happy with.

a small peaceful town when i get old.

dance.

smile.

laugh.

know wats the feeling?.

eat ramily burger.

eat yuki yaki.

take music and audio tech courses.

see fireflies.

go on a holiday travelling experience.

remember things that i forgotten.

go back to when i was really young.

blogg nice nice.

go fishing.

slack everyday.

eat seafood.

buy new hp.

buy new contact.

bring my dog for a walk.

exercise.

jump.

look at the window and blank out.

feel excitement.

feel addiction..

die.

say goodbye...



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Wondering?.疑問に思うことか?
hohoho later at 7 got nite class so excited, but i bet i won learn anything even if i go, but nvm lah go there play play can le. LOL. so and ya actually got 2 tuitions today de 1 is a maths home tuition, de oth 1 is later the nitght class, but bec due to my nite class, my a maths teacher couldnt make it so had to change to wed, then tues and thurs both not free, friday not sure~ so ya, change here and there and tuition everyday make me go mad! LOL

sometimes, being able to see the big and small picture everytime isnt good at all. like u tend to know all those ugly ppl doings not bec u deliberately want to find out but is things that u shldnt wish to notice but u had noticed it. i find that especially me always get to see the big and small picture everytime something had been done wrong to me-.- or been seen as 'WRONG' to me. i donno why i'm always blessed with this priviledge, maybe the some called 'god' dotes on me ba LOL. talking crap=X. sorry christians if i had accidentally insult the word 'god'.

i hope that 'god''s teaching would teach ppl to stop lying or maybe bless them with more talent in lying ba, so that i won see the big pic and small pic LOL. and now i'm wondering does god teach ppl to lie???

the thought of it really makes me laugh...
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